Surrenderence to Purpose of the Divine Mother

I cannot surrender deep into my fate of motherhood if I am only to be left. The fear of single motherhood has left me guarded within my openness to pregnancy. Equally the fear is a guard of another fear, the fear of infertility. The fear of the adoption corruption. It is not fair the obstacles of emotional gymnastics that is necessary to prepare yourself for the most important position of your dreams purpose, to be the Divine Mother.

Chad cannot abandon me. I desperately and openly express this need and fear. This wound, which has been healing, continues to have a sore spot as I release all the control to embracing my divine feminine. As other problems in our relationship have occurred, there is a separation, on both our parts truthfully, with a need to heal; the distance or detachment, replacement or mis-prioritization of our relationship, leaves me in the fight or flight response. The journey of twin flames. However, the wound I seek to heal, I am working to comfort within myself. To let go competition, especially that of which could be inherited to my children.

While I am now embracing every second of building a life towards motherhood, I am seeing areas of growth presented and in need within my relationship. Chad and I have always been solid and powered through it all. Being pushed to our breaking points this past cycle, has been far beyond unpleasant and painful. We both detest the expressions of disconnection between us. With the willpower to push through every day. I question if he is worth it from time to time, only be to proven why he is with the most worthy.. immediately slapped as punishment for questioning such divinity, that I have more than seen. That I know. I cannot distrust my demonic knight, although I fear the disruption of another delusion as I continue to ascend.

Comforted with the flow of allowing it to happen or not. To surrender to the ride of life with the most trustworthy of all partners.