Conformity

The more I reflect about my time spent with people... the more I realize the level to which I settled and accepted a mundane, mediocre life. I was a hard worker who would on occasion “let loose” on the weekends. The typical expression within our American society. Aimless and falling victim to this work your life away for minimal reward, routine, and over bearing capitalist settled lifestyle.

My life has become significantly different now. I do not want to work to this level. Not out of laziness or because I am unable to do so. I am more than capable. I understand hard work as a necessary means. I don’t care for money in the same sense to hoard and mindlessly circulate. I have become aware to the true intentions we all need to realign with. I have become aware of the sickness spreading through the minds of our population.

I am so depressed with the outcome of this realization. I have no motivation left in me to put effort into this mundane societal norm... but also yearn for a comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. I want to live a life of freedom and constant flow for the Queen I know to be, but within a balanced outcome. To fill my cup and to allow the overflow to nourish the rest of the land with the same luxuries I desire.

And yet, they say that in order to live the life I want to live, you have to work yourself to the bone. You are required to sacrifice yourself and others for the sake of the common good. While equally fighting like a rat in a cage to escape.

Somewhere along my path I've become stuck in a purgatory of the reality of our nature’s ancestors vs this disconnect from soul. Why does the day to day bother me so? I have fond memories of my time there. But it is not real. Or, well, not fully real. I would wish to make a living off of living. Which is so absurd to ponder abouts through my day. Constantly met with the mockery of others.