May 4th, 2023- May 10th, 2023- Full Moon Scorpio- Waning Gibbous Capricorn/Aquarius

As I sit with this deep reflection and grounding of my life, I bask in the utter beauty of all that I have and have accomplished. I truly cannot complain about my life. I have a husband who loves me deeply, two beautiful hell hounds and two of the finest felines. I have a lovely property with a bountiful garden, chickens and a decent amount of privacy. I am surrounded by nature and for the thumb area, I have fresh air. I am blessed with a welcoming, accepting community of friends and family. I am true to myself more than I ever have been. And yet I feel restless for the next chapter, for that next level fantasy. I am grateful for what I have and where I am. That will not change. My foundation of insight is stronger than ever and I do not fear any other delusion shatter moments to be here any time soon. I can only feel the blessings of this final release. Maybe the last quarter in Aquarius? I am not sure. However the journey of this Taurus cycle has been uplifting, rejuvenating and what feels like the smallest glimpse to the dreams my husband and I are working hard to achieve, to manifest to carve into our reality in a luxurious, stable fashion. The earth sign way with air sign intellect and ethics. A beautiful balance between the heavens and the earth.

As I sit here and type away, surrounded by my garden. I realize the power behind my experience with the garden spirit I encountered in January. I can feel a sense of peace overcoming her. We are doing right by her. I dream to be able to forever do right by her. I hope to respectfully rent out or gift this home to a devout friend and soul member. I do not wish to randomly sell. I want this space to become all that she was meant to. However, I equally do not feel she is ours to hold forever a stepping stone that could have been a forever home. That is the key. I do not like to “settle” for anything for the moment. I want all to be a potential or portal to forever. If I am not comfortable with the idea of being “stuck” due to any circumstance, then, this energy, this place, is not meant for me. This home could be mine forever. And maybe in another lifetime she was. However, for now, she is another loving, gracious gift along my path to the empire of my deepest desires.

I can feel this shift of success and this purge of all that no longer serves me. I can’t help but, not only wish, but feel and know that my life is seconds, any moment away from changing for the most glamorous and radical. I am growing impatient as I have felt this change for months. I am enjoying the journey and eventually see the purpose to the story. I equally feel they are trying to surprise me, for my foresight is uncanny-ing-ly powerful. How can I be shocked, greater than I could ever imagine, if I am always imagining, dreaming dreams the world has never seen before? That can be tricky to do. I have always figured out the surprises before they were given. Due to my nosey but intellectual mind. I never ruined that I knew. I hate disappointing the efforts of others. I want them to know I am equally as excited whether I knew or not. That I love them beyond words for their efforts. My mother always found great ways to surprise me. Sometimes she had been so convincing I had believed my intuition to be wrong. But underneath is all, I always knew that I had an inkling. Equally, I question what it is that I am missing? What do I not know? What have I not done? My tarot redirects both Chad and I into a state of rest. Which I have been leaning into more and more. It can be quite difficult for two Generators w/ heavy Capricorn placements.

Either way, through all the bumps in the road that has tried to stop me.. I cannot help but align with the ending to A Series of Unfortunate Events. Despite all the horrors, I have always been able to find the silver lining, to alchemize the pain into something beautiful and romantic. The world, despite it’s devilish efforts, has not stopped me. I have been knocked down, but I continue to rise and redirect to my dream, to my center. I turn the lead to gold, the darkness to light. I do not settle for less than bliss, even if I have to create it with “delusions” myself.